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Reply to Joe W

November 18th, 2006 at 04:57 pm

Quote from a comment on my blog entry thanking those that helped my friend:

"Why not forego your tithing of $130 a month to your church and give it directly to your friend in need? I always thought you tithed to your church so that money could be used to help those less fortunate in the flock or yourself if you came down on hard times."

I am a bit offended by this. Maybe I'm reading it the wrong way, but I feel the commenter is judging me.

Let me tell you why I tithe to my church. Our church is a very small church, average of about 30 adults right now. It is going through hard times and we are just barely keeping the doors open. If I didn't tithe to the church they wouldn't be able to pay the bills on time. Also, as an elder's wife, what kind of an example would it be for me not to support my own church?

The church does have a benevolent fund with which we help out those in our own church and community who are in need. Just last month we supplied a family with groceries whose husband is not able to work because of health problems. My librarian friend is not in our community, but in another town. I did not ask the church to dip into what is left of the benevolent fund because of that. I have talked to individuals in the church who are willing to help her, but have not approached the church itself.

I did not post about my friend here with the thought that anyone here would offer to help. I posted about her in hopes that it would make each of us aware of how greatly we are blessed, even though we take it for granted. I was more than shocked when people wanted to send things to help her out. After all, I was pretty new here myself, and no one had any idea if I was trustworthy or not.

I don't usually take offense easily, and certainly don't usually stand up for myself. But I guess the judgmental and accusatory tone I read in the comment just set me off. I'm sorry if I have misread your intention.

6 Responses to “Reply to Joe W”

  1. Ima saver Says:
    1163872679

    I think you are a wonderful person and understand why you need to help your church. Please do not get your feelings hurt!! I am sure he misunderstood.

  2. ldyfaile Says:
    1163874678

    I haven't gotten to the post you are referencing so I don't know the context but I'm not sure that the commenter is coming from a judgement standpoint but just offering a suggestion you might not have thought of. Much like we all do here when we post our budgets and say 'where can I do better'.

    I actually do that from time to time. Something comes up, someone needs a hand, and instead of giving to the church I help a person out. It's not a regular occurance but I realize that the money is to be spent towards helping others, the church is just one of those others. My church is larger, and as a member I committed to supporting them financially. Our recent growth spurt has really done a number on their budget and they really do need the money even though our congregation is much more than 30. But I just let God impress upon me where the money should go. Most of the time, that's to the church.

    Without knowing the background of the commentor, they might not come from a background where tithes and offerings is commonplace so their perception of it is a little different.

    Anyway, I will ditto Ima, you are a wonderful person!

  3. rduell Says:
    1163875118

    Thanks, both of you. I guess I the last sentence of his post just came across to me as condescending. Might not have been meant that way at all. If so, I do humbly apologize.

    Could be PMS figuring into it too....LOL!

  4. yummy64 Says:
    1163878894

    I took it too as offering an alternative rather than a judgment. I like that about this list. That people offer different ideas, though it does run the risks of hurt feelings.

    I'm sending you virtual chocolate and wine (or if you want to mix the two, a chocolate martini) . If it is that special time of the month both are medicinal substances rather than indulgences!

  5. rduell Says:
    1163882816

    Okay, then I do apologize. Seems I was a bit overly sensitive and read him wrong. :-) Sorry!

    I wasn't hurt as much as just irritated. I obviously read more into it than I should have.

  6. LuckyRobin Says:
    1164023498

    I don't think that a lot of people truly understand what a tithe offering is. It is not the same as a charitable donation, even though the tax laws consider it to be such. Many people just don't get why others tithe to a church when they are either going through difficult times themselves or could be helping other people. It is very much a faith thing and goes to support the running of the church and its pastor(s) in accordance to certain scriptures laid down in the Bible. A church might not be able to pay its bills if everyone suddenly decided that "this month I'm going to help so and so instead of giving to the church." A pastor might not be able to draw a salary that puts food on his own table and clothes on his children. Tithing is highly personal, a commitment between a person and God, really, and I can see why that comment offended you, but I think it was just offhand.

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